POETRY SUCKS AND YOU KNOW IT

POETRY SUCKS AND YOU KNOW IT

Man, I am just sick and tired of people talking about poets like the Pope and Mother Thesera take out their garbage. Come on, people! Poetry sucks! Who likes the written word so far from how one would naturally communicate? I'll tell you whut--I'll take a decent blogger over the poet laureate any damn day of the week. Write a check on that.

Now, don't get me wrong, I like some poetry (mostly song lyrics) and writing poems does take a certain amount of skill. But when it really comes down to it, poetry is cryptic and irrelevant and pretentious. Thank God for the straight-shooters in my life.

The first clip that bothered me (aka inspired me) was this dumb-ass Morrissey LA TV interview in which, in response to a question about who could be the next U.S. president, he states:



"Well, I think its a difficult question, because if you are drawn to becoming the president or if you're drawn to being a world leader--and leaders always mean bullies, they don't ever mean world poet--its always somebody who can bully and who can be a terrorist. You have to be a terrorist in order to be a president. So, the people who are attracted to politics are never good people. They're always people who are potentially terrorists and you can see it in all the people who lead our countries throughout the world, and they're never nice people."

Absolutely ridiculous. First of all, I don't want any politicians to sound like poets. Who wants that? I want politicians to be as direct and as clear as possible. I want them practicing "gotcha" politics....not "gotcha" poetry. I could give a fuck if they have iambic pentameter skills.

And second of all, Moz paints with far too broad a brush. All poets are good people. And all politicians are terrorists. Whatever, dawg! These statements are incredibly lazy and prejudicial. And they're simply not true. Just stick to recording albums, bro, and leave the politics to those of us without pompadours.

So after the Moz nonsense, I had to deal with UNC Senior, beer-hat owner and Daily Tarheel Newspaper columnist James Dillard stating, in defense of Senator John Edwards:



"You think about the words of the poet, Jay-Z, who said, 'I can't help the poor if I'm one of them, but I got rich and gave back.' To me, that's the win-win. And, so, certainly, a poor man can't run for president in this country, it's just not the way our political system is set up."

From ridiculous to retarded. First of all, Jay-Z is being referred to as a poet now? Please. So are all rappers poets now? Or do we need to refer to rappers as poets in order to take them seriously? I don't get it. I mean, I can agree that all rappers are poets, it doesn't bother me. Its just another reason why rap is silly.

And don't even get me started on the who-is-more-for-the-poor tug-of-war the Dems always find themselves in. Cuz its besides the point. Democrats aren't "for the poor." Democrats are for the government. Democrats want the government to be responsible for your survival. So if you have no dignity or self-respect and you want a Mommy in the white house, maybe someone like Maya-graine Angelou who can read you a useless word nerd Thesaurus Rex poem every night before you go to sleep, then be my guest: vote for the Dems.

Poetry fans...and you know it.